Rachel, our 3½-year-old daughter, was fun, energetic, imaginative, happy and rarely sick. I took her to our pediatrician because I was concerned that she had too many bruises. That appointment ended with us being told to go to Duke Hospital that day. So, we checked into Duke, and the testing began. Rachel was examined, poked, prodded and discussed by many doctors. She received multiple needle sticks, including one that went into the bone to check her bone marrow. Our world turned upside down when we were told that she had aplastic anemia, a rare disease in which bone marrow doesn’t produce enough new cells. There was no cure, only experimental treatments that we could try. We were told that 80 to 90 percent of the people who receive this diagnosis die within three months. I had often wondered how I could face something like this. Now it was reality. How do I handle this?
That evening, when there was a break in the testing, we took a walk down the hospital corridor. Rachel started singing Psalm 118:24: “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Our little daughter knew how to handle it, and her simple singing taught me. By constantly knowing and remembering that God had made the day and that He was in ultimate control, I could handle whatever came my way. And more than just handle it, I could rejoice in it.
The Bible often speaks of rejoicing.
(And as you can imagine, we did a lot of weeping during that time.)
We often think that rejoicing means happiness, delight or gladness. To the world, that is what it means — happiness. A person can have it by acquiring a certain item or being in a certain place. Just buy this product; it brings joy (at least, that is what advertising tells us). But products wear out and lose their appeal, taking their joy with them. Joy, according to the world, is often fleeting, drifting away as circumstances change.
However, joy takes on a much deeper meaning in Scripture. It is a part of the relationship that develops with God when we spend time with Him. Spending time learning His Word is time spent with Him. Psalm 19:8 says, “The law of the of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple, the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.” The Psalmist makes it clear that spending time with God and knowing His Word enables us to have joy in our hearts. Knowing God deeply empowers us to rejoice with the true joy that God gives. This joy is deep and satisfying and not dependent on outward circumstances.
This joy also brings strength. Nehemiah 8:10 says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Since it is always there and not dependent upon outward circumstances, it is a source of real strength. It enables one who loves the Lord to keep going. While joy is strength, this strength also yields more joy. The strength that comes from joy also brings peace. Rejoicing does not mean that we always have a smile or are always laughing, although that is often the result. Rejoicing can accompany sadness because it is a deep and calming joy that brings peace. Knowing that God made this world and that He made this day is knowing that God is with me whatever the circumstance and that He is in ultimate control.
Rachel died one year after her diagnosis. During that year, we had to be constantly alert, watching for bruising and infection. She received weekly blood transfusions. But overall, it was a good year. We lived in Durham, near the hospital, allowing us to stay at home most of the time, although there were several hospital stays. Her two brothers stayed healthy. Family came and helped when we needed it. She stayed fun and happy and imaginative, although the energetic part would waver at times. Throughout the year, we knew that God was with us, and that was the important part. We knew that He was in ultimate control, and we could have joy in the midst of pain. After all, He had made the day.
When I asked her 5½-year-old brother if he knew what it meant that Rachel was dying, he said, “Well, Mom, it means she’ll be better.” It is the ultimate ending. In this world, in our individual circumstances and challenges, we do not always see the ultimate ending, but we know that God does see it, and He is faithful. On that first day in Duke Hospital, Psalm 118 spoke to me in a very real way, and I am thankful that it did.