For years, I have been familiar with Psalm 139:13-14, from first digging into it with a girls’ retreat weekend, to acknowledging God’s gift during my first pregnancy when I heard the first heartbeat of my first unborn child. I clung to this same Scripture as I grieved the loss of my second pregnancy … the well-intended words from family and friends of earthly reasons for a miscarriage were no match for what I knew was so true: my lost child was also fearfully and wonderfully made by my Heavenly Father. Shortly later, during my third pregnancy, I found myself clinging even tighter to this Scripture when an ultrasound scan revealed that my unborn son would be born with a cleft. At the time of that ultrasound scan, we didn’t know if the cleft would include his palate but the images were clear that he would be born with a unilateral cleft lip. My husband and I waited for several weeks before we shared our news and prayer request with our Sunday School class because on the same day we received the news of our son’s cleft, another family in our class learned they had just lost their unborn child so close to their due date. We were devastated with them.

While scared about the news of the cleft, we knew at the time God had a bigger plan. We met with an amazing surgeon while I was still pregnant. During our first meeting she explained the typical process and timelines for cleft surgeries. She used the word “repair” multiple times for “lip repair” and other procedures. As I was listening, I was really struggling with that word “repair.” I remember motioning for a “time out” and explaining to her that I believed that my unborn son is a gift from God and that God doesn’t make mistakes and I know that my son is fearfully and wonderfully made just the way he is. Now, on this side of it, I can totally admit I was probably a blubbering mess and I do recall secretly thinking I could run away to a deserted island, but I paused and allowed her to respond. She explained to me that she too was a cleft patient and it’s the reason she’s a surgeon but she also shared that she is a woman of faith. I can’t quote today her exact words then, but I can definitely express how she made me feel and how I knew God had connected us specifically to her. Later on in our journey, she referred us to another member of our cleft team that is also a woman of faith — this same doctor prayed with us before one of our son’s surgical procedures. When was the last time you heard a doctor pray with you before a surgery?

Our son has experienced numerous surgical procedures and hospital visits related to his cleft lip and cleft palate, but it was during his 12th procedure that I gained a new perspective on Psalm 139. His 12th procedure was probably the surgery I had dreaded the most as his mother. At age nine, this surgery involved a bone graft from his hip to complete his gum ridge. We anticipated he would spend 24-72 hours in the hospital and his discharge would depend on how well his pain management and mobility were in the days following the surgery. He would have a restricted diet for a couple of weeks and have physical activity restrictions for approximately six weeks. In less than 48 hours, he was discharged from the hospital because he was so determined to walk down the hospital hall and prove to the staff he could go home. Approximately 72 hours post-surgery, I felt compelled to get the family’s attention at the kitchen table to make sure we all were acknowledging a God moment for our family. I proceeded to explain to our son that lots of people had been praying for him. The fact that he had walked so quickly to the kitchen that morning for breakfast and the fact that he was managing pain so well had nothing to do with us and everything to do with God healing him was the message I was trying to convey. My son’s response to my short sermon: “Mom, why are you surprised?” While I have always appreciated Psalm 139:13-14 and I have always known our son is fearfully and wonderfully made because he is God’s creation, on that day, it kind of struck me, that through our son we’re getting to actually observe more of God’s knitting skills. We’ve had an amazing army of prayer warriors along our son’s journey. Because of his surgeries, we’ve been able to seek prayer with co-workers, teachers, friends and complete strangers. It’s humbling to think of how many people have prayed for our son and our family. Through our son’s surgeries, our Father’s light has shined. I know that full well.

Romans 8:28 also teaches us that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Our son’s cleft is not something I would describe as “good” but I can say with confidence, our Heavenly Father has used our son’s cleft to do great things that only God can have the credit for.