Fear, anger and depression have been lifelong companions. Days were filled with suspicion, watching and calculating everything within purview, resulting in isolation, distrust and a sense of constant threat. Anger, often rage, was just below the surface waiting to burst into the open like a submarine on an emergency ascent. Emotional and social isolation fanned the flames of the thoughts of having no value and a paranoia that everyone was watching and criticizing my every act.
No place of solace lasted long. Hope was a great word that was bantered about but never really felt. There just was no place to find real peace, relief or healing.
We all have our own personal stories of hurt, fear, anger and self-doubt. Each and every story is heartbreaking and for many of us a testimony to God’s excellent and faithful grace and mercy.
The very beginning of the Psalm tells us that there is a secret place of the Most High (God Himself) and that we are invited to dwell with Him in that place. This may seem very mystical, but God is not mysterious. This speaks clearly to that deep, personal relationship that we can have with God! We see this throughout the Scriptures in phrases like:
We are invited, encouraged and even commanded (I am the branch and you are the vine …) to be in this secret place of the Most High!
When we abide in this place, we find ourselves in the shadow of the Almighty. Being in someone’s shadow requires closeness — so close in fact you would need to be in their personal space. This is EXACTLY where God wants us!
Our enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. We need to keep in mind that this is not only physical but more importantly spiritual! The process of his actions in our lives are shown in our symptoms, the most predominant of mine: fear, anger and depression. Often his methods are like that of a fowler. Our enemy is a deceiver of the highest rank. Studying the fowlers’ traps and methods reveals that they:
When tempted to consider that all this is for someone else, consider that the word “you/your” is used four times in just one verse (verse 4). This is a personal word — one that we use to address individuals. This entire Psalm was written for YOU, to YOU, with the promises for YOU.
Finally take note of the words at the end of verse 4. “His truth shall be your shield and buckler.” Read it again, what is the first word? Not culture, societies, your friends, educational systems, social media or any other man-centered place run from our “desperately deceitful hearts.” His truth! To know His Truth, we must make the effort to study and understand His Word, to spend time meditating on His Word, and consistent and intentional time in conversation with Him.
Yes, I still struggle with anxiety and depression. I believe, though I have prayed for years that He would take it from me, that He leaves me with it so I will be constantly reminded to be deliberate and consistently intentional to dwell in the secret place of the Most High, violating both His and my personal space, to be in the shadow of the Almighty.
This is EXACTLY the Gospel. Without God we are without hope. Without hope we are left in fear, anger and depression. These are the arrows, pestilence, plagues and the destruction that lays waste. God came in human form to live a perfect life and die a violent, horrifying death in OUR place. His free gift of salvation is not only assurance of Heaven but the ability to have a deep personal relationship with the God of EVERTHING while we are here on this Earth.
God does not want our words, work or wealth. He doesn’t need them and in fact they are like filthy trash when they come from our impure hearts, which are deceived in thinking we are doing Him a favor. God wants us to see, understand and fully know that we are “saved by grace not by works least any man should boast” and that “in Him HE who starts a good work will be faithful to complete it.” God wants us to know Him and be known by Him.
More important than all else in our life is the commitment to know and be known by God. It is only within this deep personal relationship that we will find peace, being guarded by His truth.
When we look at Psalm 91 do we see the words of someone who lived in past centuries writing about God’s protection? Or are we willing to consider the words in the light of our own lives?
Would you accept the challenge to consider this Psalm as if it were written for you to read, understand and seek to be in the secret place with God Himself?
Reflect on what earnestly seeking to be in the secret place with the Almighty looks like.
What will be your intentional thoughts and actions to earnestly seek this level of intimacy with God?